We went to see Dr. Kaidi and looked at the breast for the first time after surgery.  When the bandage came off, I was so relieved, just from the feeling of that awful thing off of me.  One of the drains was clear and dry, so he took that out.  It was the one from under the arm, so I was happy to hear about that.  It was bugging me a lot.  Imagine having tubing coming out from a small incision in your underarm where there was lots of digging going on.  So, as we looked at the breast, it was fairly puffy with swollen, but kinda krinkled.  It was funny looking, not so sad. The good part was that the top looked natural, so I had a cleavage still.   Yeah!  Anything normal at this point is a bonus. 

The second drain is coming from the puffy breast.  If it stops draining enough by Monday, we can take it out.  If not, it will stay in, maybe even another week.  Drag.  They wrapped me up again in a smaller bandage and gave me more to take home so Rick could give me new ones to wear when they get dirty. They wrapped me rather tight.  When we went to lunch I felt like I had someone socking my boob constantly.  Rick thought it was from having the bandage tighter and it was directly on the drain from the breast.  Plus, the breast was poked and prodded by Dr. Kaidi in an exam to see how it is doing, so ...  If you didn't know it already, I'm the biggest wimp there is when it comes to pain.  I have THE LOWEST pain threshold ever.  "sensitive" is my middle name.  I get a rash from just looking at scratchy things.  My arm skin felt like it was on fire everytime someone touched it and it was just from brushing up against the bandage.  I've worked on this issue for years, and can't seem to get out of it.  I decided to just accept it and do it anyway.  I need to get blood tests done, etc, and I gotta just do it anyway.

Anyway, with the pain in my book coming on pretty good now and being that we were on our way to the pathologist, my denial is unraveling.  This isn't happening to someone else anymore.  This is happening to me.


We got to Dr. Tetef's office and checked in.  She had our paperwork and the nurse put me in the exam room after doing the preliminary vital signs.  My blood pressure was sky high.  So, I knew I was freaked.  Otherwise, I was pretty quiet.   Rick tried to crack jokes and stuff.  When the doc came in, she gave me a hug and said we were there to get an overview of the process to come.  She said that with the pathology report, the diagnosis is now changed to Stage III, invasive ductal carcinoma.  Stage III instead of II because of the large size of the tumor.  It was 5.5 centemeters.  The good news is: 

1.  It's all been taken out and there are clean edges left behind
2.  It's a fast growing tumor, and those are the easiest to kill
3.  It's hormone activated, so the medications can stop it, too.  

Generally, we understand the process will include:

1.  Chemotherapy starting in a couple weeks.  It will be on one afternoon, every 3 weeks up to 6 times.  The effects of chemo are not so awful anymore.  I will not get nauseaus and I will probably just be a little tired and achy the next day.  I will lose my hair, so she gave me a prescription for a "cranial prosthesis" (otherwise known as a wig).

2.  Radiation that will be pinpoint accurate given like a chest x-ray on a table.  She said it will be done faster than it will take me to park my car in the parking lot.  I will have it every day, M-F for 4 weeks.  Hopefully, we can find a place close by to keep the gas prices from eating up our budget.

3.  Then, I'll have a pill to take that will put me into menopause for 5 years.  Tamoxifen or something like that. 

We will know all the specifics of how much, how often, and exactly what types of medications next Wednesday. 

First, we need to do MORE information gathering.  Today, I go for another blood test. 
Tomorrow, I go for an echo cardiogram, and a PT Scan.  This will tell me if my heart is strong enough to take the harshest arsenol of chemo we can shoot at it, and also if the cancer has gone anywhere else in my body. 

This weekend, I will still be healing from the surgery and taking care of the wounds and drains.  Hopefully, on Monday, when everyone is at a picnic, I'll be getting my drain taken out, but it's a good possibility I won't.

Tuesday is another chill out day.

Wednesday is back to Dr. Tetef to hear the specific plan of attack. 

I can't really go back to work until the drains are all out.  The pain from the breast is bothering me now and it is very distracting.  but, I can see getting back to the business of caring for others by June 2nd if all goes well.

Thanks for being part of my army against this enemy.  Keep praying that the cancer is all out of me.